After Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s self-described “speech” about Christmas movie The Man with the Bag ran on a bit at the Amazon upfront Monday, Jamie Lee Curtis came to the rescue.
Schwarzenegger plugged the movie (repeatedly misidentifying it as The Man in the Bag) in his customary machine-like fashion. After initially wowing the crowd and earning the night’s biggest ovation at the Beacon Theatre event, he began filibustering as though he were still governor of California.
“Marketing, and communicating to the mass, and publicity is the most important thing,” he told the room full of advertisers. “You can have the best product in the world, but if they don’t know about it, you have nothing! Absolutely nothing.”
As the crowd started to titter nervously and Schwarzenegger pounded out talking points as though they were free weights, Curtis started inching across the stage toward him. Though it was pre-planned, it appeared to be a spontaneous bid to get the 77-year-old Schwarzenegger to wrap up.
“This is elder abuse!” the star cracked when Curtis took his arm.
Having the two stars back onstage offered a chance for them to reminisce about making director James Cameron’s 1994 film True Lies. The minor action classic centers on a married couple also involved in international espionage.
“Thirty years ago, we were together,” Curtis said. “And now here we are, talking ad strategy.” Unlike in the movie, she said, “we don’t need to go undercover to save the day,” she added. “We just need to remind these hardworking people about the benefits of Amazon’s full-funnel advertising strategy.” (Curtis and other stars mocked the ad-speak sprinkled through the event, particularly the expression “full funnel,” which refers to where an ad connects with where a consumer is in the purchasing funnel, a lingering metaphor widely referred to in the ad biz. Curtis said she thought it was an euphemism.)
Curtis also said Schwarzenegger agreed to let her name appear alongside his and above the title of True Lies in all of its marketing material and opening credits, an unusual nod to a woman co-star. Cameron had proposed it “because it’s a movie about a marriage,” Curtis recalled. “And Arnold Schwarzenegger, who clearly did not have to say yes, said yes.”
After the crowd oohed its appreciation for the gesture, all those decades ago, Curtis moved to wrap things up. “Are you ready to terminate this segment?” she asked, to huge laughs. “It might have gone on a tiny bit.”
Turning to the wings, she yelled, “OK, Alan!” to urge senior ad exec Alan Moss, the night’s final speaker, to enter, but then saw Schwarzenegger had one last line to deliver. “Hold on, don’t come!” she told Moss. Schwarzenegger then ended with, “We’ll be back,” and the couple kissed as though they were back on the True Lies set.
The whoops and hollers that resulted from the embrace were rivaled only by the greeting of Moss, who stuck with the script and preached to the crowd about, yes, the virtues of “full-funnel” ads.
A holiday season atmosphere prevailed before Curtis returned to the stage. With screens behind him showing the Rockefeller Center tree and other signature elements of New York during the holidays, Schwarzenegger declared his 1996 chestnut Jingle All the Way “the greatest Christmas movie of all time.”
Even though “it’s been three decades ago, they play it,” Schwarzenegger said, referring to cable networks and others with ancillary rights to the film. “They played it the whole month of December,” he said. “I know because my ex-wife [Maria Shriver] calls me about the residuals. So, this movie is making money for us. Maria’s happy, I’m happy. Every year, people come up to me and say, ‘Why don’t you make another Christmas movie?’”
Peter White contributed to this report.
