NEED TO KNOW
-
Influencer Anna Muller recently revealed that her husband changed his last name to match hers
-
Muller shared a video of the moment on her TikTok, which went viral, amassing over 2.3 million views
-
Muller and her husband, Cameron, talk to PEOPLE about the decision and why it felt surprising to get criticism about it
Taking your partner’s last name can be an exciting step in a marriage.
Influencer Anna Muller couldn’t wait to share the fun update with her followers on TikTok after her husband, Cameron, signed the paperwork to change his last name to hers in late September.
While speaking exclusively to PEOPLE, the couple explains that they had an “open conversation” about whether or not they wanted to change their last names after they said “I do,” but Cameron notes that “there was never any assumption of automatically Anna was gonna take my last name.”
They both have German heritage, so Anna’s last name, Muller, made a lot of sense for both of them. “It wasn’t a lengthy, drawn-out conversation,” Cameron emphasizes.
Anna Muller
Anna and Cameron Muller
Once it was settled, Anna decided to film Cameron after completing all the paperwork, hoping to save the special moment.
The TikTok video shows Cameron walking through the door before joining his wife for a dance party in their living room, captioned, “just married and he officially took my last name.”
“It was like pure excitement for us. He went down and did all the legal changes. We were so excited,” Anna shares.
However, not everyone viewed it with the same support.
“It did not cross our minds that anyone would honestly have anything bad to say about it,” she adds.
The video went viral, amassing over 2.2 million views. There was a good amount of supportive comments. Then, the mean comments started rolling in. The couple woke up the next day and were shocked by the number of comments calling it “embarrassing” or a “joke” for a man to take his wife’s last name, rather than the other way around.
“I was surprised because for me, this is very normal. I value the partnership that we have. We are equals, which is why it was not assumed that Anna was going to take my name,” Cameron shares. “I was surprised that people were so upset about a man taking a woman’s name or that there was even a conversation around not taking my name.”
“If your masculinity depends on submission, I don’t think that’s masculinity,” Anna adds. “That screams insecurity. A name or tradition isn’t what makes a man, either. I think it’s actions, it’s character.”
“A lot of people think, ‘you flipped tradition,’ and that’s not what happened,” she continues. “We evolved past it. It’s so important that there’s more conversation and it’s more normalized that there are different ways to go about partnerships that can be more equal.”
Reese Oliver
Photo of Anna and Cameron Muller, credit to Reese Oliver
For those looking to follow in their footsteps and make a similar decision, Anna encourages them to “take a look at what is meaningful and what is important for you, and try to put aside things like traditional pressures or stigmas or family pressures.”
“Tap into what’s meaningful, what’s what matters, what feels right, what feels good, and go into that in more of an equal intuitive space,” she adds. “Giving yourself the space and opportunity to talk about that as a partnership and feel out what feels good.”
Anna documents their life together as a couple, frequently showcasing their travels, the story of their relationship and various other aspects of their life together.
Anna and Cameron, who have both been married and divorced before, say they found each other at a time when they weren’t really looking for anything serious. However, they met, fell in love and got engaged less than a year later. A key aspect of their content relies on transparency, as they offer advice to other couples and people who need it.
The couple frequently has open and honest conversations about gendered expectations in their relationship, since Cameron is a transgender man and Anna is a queer woman. Their dynamic has them continuously checking in with each other and challenging societal norms.
“Part of it ties into offering advice to other individuals in a similar situation. A lot of our experience we have is because we break a lot of the gender stereotypes and norms because of how we’ve evolved personally before we got together — different sexual orientations, different gender identifications,” Cameron tells PEOPLE. “We’ve been able to really relate on a lot of that, and we empower that in each other and don’t have to close that piece of yourself off.”
“This name piece comes up because everybody thinks we are a cis straight couple, and you see that in the comments. People in same sex relationships or non-binary relationships have these conversations all the time,” he adds. “Our lived experience led us to not have those assumptions when we enter these conversations. That’s healthy for everybody not to assume where your partner is. Talk to them, have that healthy communication.”
Both Cameron and Anna reiterated the importance of showing up for your partner in all conversations and discussions, emphasizing the importance of communication.
“Communicate and find someone who can and is willing to see and understand and work with you and support you,” Anna says. “Even if you didn’t walk the same path, that’s okay. You don’t have to walk the same path to support someone.”
Read the original article on People
