Stellar Blade finally hit PC two days ago, giving everyone a chance to do whatever it is this game is actually about. Unfortunately, no one knows what that is, because the entirety of discourse surrounding it is about the main character’s butt.
Well, now that butt is on PC, and you know what that means: mods. And if I were to make a book right now on how many of those mods somehow made Stellar Blade even more NSFW than it is out the box, I suspect I wouldn’t make very much money (not least because you’ve probably all read the headline).
By intense scientific calculus (counting), fully 96 of the 234 mods—41%—that currently exist for Stellar Blade are marked as adult. And frankly, some of the ones that aren’t marked as adult are probably NSFW. How do you feel about Eve Feethands? Good? Would you discuss that with your grandparents over Christmas dinner?
The majority are, well, what you expect: various ways to make Eve and other women in the game various levels of nude (with the most popular level being ‘fully’). Someone did put her in an apron, though, which I suppose leaves something to the imagination. There are also a lot of main menu replacers that just put hardcore smut of one variety or another right there on the home screen, if that’s your bag.
Now. Look. I have no issue with what adults do in the privacy of their own home. If you want to turn your copy of any game into an overstimulating carnival of omnipresent erotic delights, please do so with my blessing. But I am a tad mystified. I do wonder what kind of lifestyle it is that leads a person to turn a videogame main menu into hardcore pornography. At some point are you so inured to sexuality that you have to cram it into every available crevice to feel anything? Would you not find more fulfilment if the erotic were less ubiquitous, more rare, more precious? At least we’ll always have Thomas the Tank Engine mods.
Apparently not, because the top 10 mods for Stellar Blade are all adults-only, and they’ve been downloaded about a quarter of a million times collectively at time of writing. Goon on, gooners. Let no one dim your sparkle.
